This pains me

English: A page from American Civil Liberties ...

English: A page from American Civil Liberties Union v. Ashcroft. This image was made public by the ACLU (from (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the past week we spent an evening visiting friends in Flint Mi. Went to a restaurant for a nice dinner and then went back to the house for delicious pie, coffee and conversation.

There were six of us at the table and eventually the ladies went to another area of the room while we men stayed at the table continuing our general chat.

At some point one of the others picked up his phone and began checking gas prices in the local area. He pointed out the discrepancy in prices in various locations in the Flint area asking “What does that tell you?”

When asked what he meant he said “Well don’t all the blacks live on the east side of town?”  The other two then went into a general banter using racist words and so on.

Seeing the direction of the conversation and not wanting to create controversy in what had been an enjoyable evening, I remained silent, eventually getting up and leaving the table.

Now the ACLU would get all over me for remaining silent but the two did get my message.

And another story…

Talking to a Republican last night I jokingly asked her to say something so I had something to blog about today.

She said “Why don’t you blog about the three black guys that killed the jogger?”

I was totally shocked, told her it wasn’t three black guys; the picture I saw looked like a black guy, a white guy and perhaps an Hispanic guy.

But my shock came from the term three black guys, why does race always have to be part of the situation? Why could she not just say blog about those three teens that killed a jogger?

These people are all people I love and feel for; hearing those racial epithets coming from their mouths gives me great pain.

Thank you for listening and enjoy the day.


10 thoughts on “This pains me

    • “There were six of us at the table and eventually the ladies went to another area of the room while we men stayed at the table continuing our general chat.

      See any similarities to what you object to? I have an old friend who invites several mutual friends over for dinner, and the men and women always separate after dinner like something in an old British movie. “THE LADIES” (when will “ladies” become obsolete?) go off in a group. Presumably, so the men can discuss serious business while the women swap recipes.

      As you can see, you really pressed one of my buttons! The sad part is that the participants don’t even notice that a form of segregation is happening. That’s just the way things are done. Awareness is the beginning of change. Awareness and naming the problem.


      • There is a possibility you are reading into this more then what is said. We have been friends for many years. The ladies were not expected or asked to leave the table. I think they just left for more comfortable seating (a couch) rather than any segregation of opinions/thoughts. As a small group we seldom “split” after dinner this just happened to be one time that it happened. Had I expected this type of reply, I simply would have left that portion out. It meant nothing and was just used to move my story forward.
        Thanks for your reply and showing me a view i had not considered.


  1. Word you wanted was not epitaph, was epithet, Larry.

    and what is the best way to deal with racial tones like that When you know and like the people?



    • Mike, thanks I changed the word. ACLU says we should confront the people immediately and express our disgust. My experience has suggested this will stop the discussion and tends to decrease openness in conversations and i really like to hear what people have to say and their opinions on everything. I usually use a gentle approach just telling them that i do not like that kind of language being careful not to be personal with an attack.
      My wife has told people using the N word in front of her is as harsh as using the F word. this works well for her. but we are both older prudes. 😉


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