PHfizer Pharmaceutical, the world’s largest drug dealer, has just announced the release of a new miracle drug.
A vaccination designed to eliminate farting among humans.
This breakthrough will mean the end of embarrassing moments for many.
An advertising campaign is in the works with popular country western star Trace Adkins and his sonorous baritone to extoll the patriotic value of getting this vaccination.
No more will our troops on the front lines have to fear being discovered by their scent.
Never again will a patriotic American have to withstand the sound and smell of a lengthy fart during recitation of the pledge of allegiance.
God bless America and all that stuff!
Famous quarterback Terry Bradshaw is also expected to be part of this commercial with his twangy voice and good old boy style.
Bradshaw will share his experiences as a quarterback standing behind the center waiting for the hike of the ball only to be offended by another stinky fart.
Bradshaw will suggest the shotgun formation was invented for this reason, yeehaw America, victory is ours.
As of this posting the only known side effect of the vaccination is the possibility of blowing up.
But not to worry, Homeland Security will be given the names and addresses of all vaccinated individuals and will monitor their whereabouts at all times.